cant_touch_this: [IC: Pre-Intro Thread]

Charlotte Charles - Chuck (

cant_touch_this) wrote,
@ 2008-11-23 19:18:00

[IC: Pre-Intro Thread]
Isn't it great that we turned left at the park this time, Digby? We wouldn't have found this place otherwise, and it's really quite lovely and charming in it's own swampy way! Maybe we'll have an adventure today, just the two of us! Wouldn't that be exciting? Who knows, we might even encounter some dashing new person with a nice dog who could be your special lady friend! I bet you'd like that! And then-- was that a toucan? I didn't know there were toucans around here! In fact, I'm almost certain toucans aren't native to this area, unless there was a massive jailbreak at the local zoo. Which might also explain those purple gorillas over there...

Digby, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

... Digby?

(55 comments) - (Post a new comment)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 03:22 am UTC (link)
	Chuck?! Oh thank whatever you're here because I was just walking and I saw you so I decided to follow after you but not in a creepy stalker way, just in a "maybe we can take a walk together" way and suddenly we ended up here. ...Where's Digby? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 03:28 am UTC (link)
	Ned? He was just here! We were talking about finding him his own doggie-girlfriend, well okay I was the one talking and he was just listening in that way that he does, but then I got distracted by that purple gorilla over there and the next thing I knew Digby was gone! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 03:35 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, Digby's usually pretty taciturn in conversation, I mean he's---- -----purple gorilla? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 03:44 am UTC (link)
	Maybe he just wanted a little excitement in his life? He certainly looks far more mysterious than any ordinary gorilla would! And you know, gorillas and humans share 98-99% of the same DNA so I wouldn't be surprised if he learned his way around a bottle of hair dye! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 03:47 am UTC (link)
	Evidently, he shares his taste in hair dye with women over the age of 70. But seriously. This must be a violation of animal protection laws. All that dye can't be good for him, and I don't even think that law enforcement agents would let this sort of thing pass. What is this, some kind of candy-colored petting zoo? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 03:58 am UTC (link)
	I'm not entirely sure there's a zoo involved anyhow, what with the suspicious lack of PETA protesters armed with signs and shouting slogans about animal rights and welfare issues. Where are we anyway? I'm beginning to feel a little disoriented as I can't for the life of me remember a swampy patch of land anywhere near The Piehole. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

pie_or_death
2008-11-24 04:02 am UTC (link)

I really don't think there is, not that I've seen a topographical survey recently, but there's a suspicious lack of city lights and normal looking things.

[Puts hands in pockets and...Oh, hey. There's a letter. Pulls it out.]

How... How did that get in there? I've never seen it before. What do I do? I've never had a mystery letter just show up in my pants before.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 04:11 am UTC (link)
	[resisting the urge to grab it out of your hands] Oooh, isn't this exciting? It might be a map to some buried treasure, or a written confession from someone's deathbed about a robbery they committed, or even some sort of special riddle that we have to solve in order to lift a curse or something! Quick, what does it say? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 04:23 am UTC (link)
	[Reading] To One Miss Charlotte "Chuck" Charles and One Mr. Pie-Maker: Welcome to Camp F-- I am not saying that out loud. Okay, okay. Name of the place that's not fit for anyone's ears; Congratulations on your arrival. You will begin work as camp counselors immediately and will be released when your job is finished? What is this? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 04:29 am UTC (link)
	Camp counselors? That sounds so neat! I wonder what kind of camp this is though, and what exactly we're meant to do here. Does it say anything else about our jobs? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

pie_or_death
2008-11-24 04:39 am UTC (link)

Yeah, I think so.

[Reads]

Charlotte will be the counselor of Second Life Advisement and Ned will be the Cheap, Overseas Replacement Moogle. These responsibilities will be held in the highest resolve until the murder of the director's fiancé is solved. You will be under investigation while simultaneously holding your position.

Sincerely,

Camp uhhhhh Eff U Dee

What the heck is a moogle?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 04:46 am UTC (link)
	Second Life Advisement? You don't think someone found out about us and all the little details like my getting a plastic bag put over my head and dumped in the ocean before you came and touched me back to life, do you? And why are we under investigation? Shouldn't we be the ones investigating? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

pie_or_death
2008-11-24 04:49 am UTC (link)

You think someone knows? Oh my god, someone knows. What are we going to do? Maybe this is Emerson playing a joke on us. Because that would make sense... Except Emerson isn't one for playing jokes. Maybe it's a new investigation technique. Like, um, roleplaying. Or pretending out a scenario. One of those dinner theatre murder mystery sleepover things at quaint bed and breakfasts in Massachusetts. And we'll play along and pretend it's a murder mystery and solve it and wake up the next morning with rose-patterned china and mix-matched chairs and it'll all be a horrible, horrible game of pretend.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 04:57 am UTC (link)
	I like that explanation, can we go with that one? Because it's a lot better than the alternative, which is that someone found out and has already gone to the media about it and-- oh, what will I do if my aunts see a news report on this? They'd just die on the spot! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

pie_or_death
2008-11-24 05:10 am UTC (link)

Okay, so, rustic Massachusetts bed and breakfast except I don't remember there being any swamps in Massachusetts and bed and breakfasts are far too classy to have purple gorillas running around, even if they do have lacy doilies on every surface imaginable. Thomas Kinkade is much more their style of kitsch, not violet primates.

But, I mean, maybe just one person knows. This director person. Maybe they haven't gone to the media. I... I... This isn't good.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

cant_touch_this
2008-11-24 05:26 am UTC (link)

You're right, we have to stay positive, or as positive as we possibly can in an incredibly upsetting situation like this one. Maybe this director hasn't told anyone yet and if we can just solve her fiancé's murder she'll be so grateful that we could convince her to keep it that way. And we should probably try to be sympathetic too; it could be that she's having a difficult time transitioning between the Anger and Bargaining stages of grief. We should bring pie, because that's what you do when someone dies, right?

I know it's not possible and we can't, but I wish I could hold you right now and that you could hold me back.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 05:30 am UTC (link)
	Yes. Pies are exactly what I do when someone dies. And... (Reply to this) (Parent)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 05:35 am UTC (link)
	[Puts hands behind back and squeezes them tight] I want to, more than anything in the world. But I'm just going to close my eyes and pretend this is your hand I'm holding, and maybe for that one moment everything will be okay before I open them and become lost again. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 05:50 am UTC (link)
	And I'm going to hug myself and pretend that we're holding each other so that we can both cough up our fear and anxiety in that big, wet wad and breathe again. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 05:55 am UTC (link)
	[A quiet moment of them just pretending to embrace each other.] Okay. So. What are we going to do about this. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

cant_touch_this
2008-11-24 06:03 am UTC (link)

We should probably explore our surroundings and see if we can find anyone who can explain the situation to us in a more conducive manner than this letter. And we could try our hand at these camp counselor positions for now, it sounds like it might be a lot of fun! I've never been to a camp before, Aunt Lily and Vivian were always worried about poison oak and rabies and boys especially!

Oh, and finding Digby should be at the top of our list of things-to-do too!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 06:09 am UTC (link)
	Oh Digby! Yes. We have to find him. I... He might be scared. We haven't been separated for very long in the past... I never went to summer camp either, but it's like boarding school, right? Chuck... (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 06:13 am UTC (link)
	I promise I'll give Digby a big hug and a good, long belly rub session when we find him again to help him recover from his harrowing experience. What is it? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	pie_or_death 2008-11-24 06:18 am UTC (link)
	Just... Please... Don't leave me here, Chuck. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	cant_touch_this 2008-11-24 06:22 am UTC (link)
	I would never leave you anywhere, especially not in a swamp populated by purple gorillas and-- (Reply to this) (Parent)

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